Maduro E.S. "Excuse Me While I Explode: My Mother, Myself, My Anger" (taken from Hanauer's The Bitch in the House )

            E.S. Maduro tells the story of her mother and the typical "housewife" tale.   Her mother dated the same man her entire life, married right before college graduation, and stopped any working to pursue another career--motherhood.   The author explains her resentment, blame, and guilt when she thought of how her mother undermined her own desires in life to raise children and keep a house.   E.S. was a feminist and with that she had believed came complete authority with anti-children and anti-household beliefs.   However, as she got older and got in to a serious relationship, she noticed how she was stepping in to the life she had once detested and ridiculed--according to the author the cycle is somewhat inescapable.   Nonetheless, the author feels satisfied in knowing that she at least has the choice and awareness to make her own decisions, knowing it from all perspectives.   Although this essay is only one limited story of the real choices women can choose to make, it is an important experience to consider.   - L.F.

            Profoundly influenced by feminism and negative childhood experiences, E.S. Maduro's article "Excuse Me While I Explode:   My Mother, Myself, My Anger" focuses on the underlying cultural assumptions of men and women's domestic responsibilities and the consequent unequal domestic labor that occurs in a typical American household.   As a strong-willed feminist who is struggling with this battle herself, Maduro's purpose for writing the essay is to bring consciousness to this unspoken dilemma.   Maduro's article, unlike other texts on the same topic, highlights her flaws and explains how she is equally as guilty in perpetuating the problem.   Specifically, her boyfriend, like most American men, have been socialized to believe that it is mainly women's responsibility to cook, clean, and raise the children.   Yet the author also explains that this work gives her pride.   More so, she gets angry that her boyfriend is not contributing yet never shows him how to complete the task.   As Maduro laments, "I feel an odd mixture of frustration and love.   Together we have a wonderful, open, trusting relationship, but sometimes I wonder if the hostility already in me, and my need to be angry at someone or something, could eventually destroy our bond" (Maduro 12).     Maduro's article uses personal accounts and biographical information to support the thesis of the text, that men and women have been socialized to perform (or not perform) specific household responsibilities and altering this ingrained ideology is possible but only if both parties work to change it.   The article includes specific, detailed examples that explain the author's position.   This is an excellent reference for individuals struggling with equally dividing household responsibilities and, unlike other articles, this one includes the mistakes that both parties could potentially be making.  - B.D.

This article is about a woman who finds herself assuming a role within her family that is similar to the role that she once despised her mother for having.   Growing up the author could not understand why her mother would do all of the household chores and responsibilities without her husband's help, despite the fact that they both worked day jobs.   However, as this woman grows up and becomes involved with a boyfriend, she too tends to the household chores despite her boyfriend's willingness to help out.  
            This article is interesting because it provides the reader with the rationale this woman uses to justify her desire to complete the household chores like her mother.   The author commented that it was the pride and satisfaction she gained from knowing that she was capable of being a good mother and a good future wife.   She also acknowledged that sometimes she wanted to be angry because she has a need to feel angry with someone about the inequality that women such as her mother routinely face.  
            I would suggest this article to anyone who is interested in living in a household with another person.   I think that this article shows the importance of asking for help when it is needed, as well as the importance of being able to accept that one does not have to be a superwoman in all aspects of housekeeping.   - A.B.

The author of this article draws upon her own relationship, in reflection of a life lived by her mother. This article reveals the transformation that author Maduro undergoes from a young girl seemingly naïve about the domestic responsibilities of her mother, to an older woman, enraged, and inquisitive about why she becomes trapped in her own situation. But, despite attempts to avoid traditional domestic responsibilities, and typical roles assumed by their own mothers, even with the chance to advance through higher education, women today are still angry. Maduro seeks to uncover reasons for this anger. The article shows how through time and the shifting from one generation to the next, many women today have more choices, more freedoms, and higher education empowering them. The article shows how socially engrained stigmas and restrictive choices made by women of "years ago" have further perpetuated traditional domestic roles. Endless tasks--"school conferences, and hemming men's pants" are few of the many markers indicative of traditional female roles. In spite of maintaining these traditional roles and assuming familial and domestic responsibility, women loose sight of their own desires and needs. Familial expectations from both their spouses and children force women to put themselves last.   The desire for a career and self-fulfilling employment outside the home becomes secondary. Through personal analysis and reflection of surrounding situations, the author suggests the need to seek balance between "this frustration and love"--to uncover happiness in one's relationships, and recognize the compromises one may be expected to make. - B.M.

            Even today, having to balance a career and the upkeep of the house and care for the children is usually the job of the female.   The distribution of labor between married men and women is generally grossly unbalanced, with women working nearly double what men work when caring for the home is included.  
The author of this article initially feels outrage when realizing the amount of work her mother does, while her father has free time.   She feels satisfied with a boyfriend who splits the work with her, until he stops doing his half.   Her reaction is interesting, as it is not common to see among other feminist texts on this issue.   At first is annoyed and irritated, but later finds herself with a sense of pride.   She gets what she refers to as a "super-mom" feeling--proud that she can achieve so much without the help of another.
The author's opinion on the division of labor is different many others, but does that make her less of a feminist?   The author expresses several times throughout the article that she no chooses to carry more weight around the household.   This can show the reader, who may not have realized this before--that housework does not always have to be "women's work," unless that is the choice that is made. - M.J.

  "Excuse Me While I Explode" is an account of one young woman's struggling with feminism and housework.   Maduro recalls having been angry at her mother when she was younger for being a stay at home mom, and what she explained as not wanting more for herself.   Ironically, Maduro finds herself following in her mother's footsteps, cooking and cleaning for her boyfriend, despite her attempts to evade it. "Excuse Me While I Explode" becomes Maduro's attempt to understand how and why women end up doing a double shift.   While men are socialized to expect or just do not realize the work that goes into keeping a home, Maduro notices that in her own relationship she does not share the responsibilities even when her partner asks to help.   The article then moves to an exploration of why women take it upon themselves to do the housework.   Maduro contends that while being a good mom/wife/housekeeper, etc. can be frustrating, it is a source of pride for women.   The article ends on this note with little to no judgment or speculation about the implications of her argument.   The article could have been stronger in this capacity, but is an interesting read nonetheless. - C.P.

            This piece is a reflection from a young woman on her memories of her mother's role as homemaker and her own current responsibilities to her home in relation to the responsibilities held by her significant other. Maduro argues that she carries an anger within her that is focused on what she feels is her assumed obligation to be the primary domestic caregiver, similarly to how she perceived her mother's dominant role in the household growing up. She shows, however, that her situation with her lover is currently more progressive than her mother's experiences, although Maduro herself chooses to be angry - for social expectations of the female to be the homemaker. This essay is recommended for any working woman in a relationship who finds herself with a sink full of dishes. -C.S.