Edelman, Hope.   "The Myth of Co-Parenting: How it was Supposed to be.   How it was."   The Bitch in the House . 1st. New York: William Morrow, 2002.

This mother/wife/former full time career woman tells of how her attempt at co-parenting did not work out because she married a man whose work hours "exponentially increased", giving her no choice but to decrease hers until they were no more to avoid their daughter from becoming "functionally orphaned".   She writes of how she finds herself in a position much resembling that of her mother's, with a husband coming home in time for dinner, and she relates the story of meeting her own husband.   Frustrated, she name-drops a few well-known feminists and the "womyn" in her feminist criticism class from graduate school, and addresses the issues they once mentioned involving motherhood and careers.   She finally comes to the realization that she is most frustrated with her husband, because it was not through discussion that her position as strictly housewife came about.   The result of the piece is resignation, and an occasional babysitter--not uplifting or hopeful, but a way to cope and another woman's story to think about. - N.T.

Hope Edelman looks at the realities of marriage and imbalanced parenting roles in her article "The Myth of Co-Parenting."   She writes about the common belief that couples have when going into a marriage: things will be perfect.   Edelman uses her own marriage to reveal the unexpected difficulties that married couples experience when trying to share responsibilities of working and raising a family.   She explains that even though many females feel liberated and inspired to be independent from their husbands, often times these women still end up doing most of the domestic work.   Edelman shows how embedded gendered work is in our society, even among feminists.   The author explains very common problems and misconceptions of marriage and does not offer a simple resolution.   Instead she looks at the matter realistically and shows that couples need to find a way to solve the problems because they will not solve themselves.   She explains that in her situation, with time things changed, but does not suggest to all readers this is the solution for all problems over shared responsibilities. -KM

In this article, the author explains the challenges of striking a balance between a married couple in the home and at work.   The author tells her story of a husband who worked over ninety hours a week, forcing her to reduce her hours to pick up the slack and raise her child.   The author talks about the strain the situation put on herself, her husband, and their marriage.   Edelman talks about her disillusionment with feminist promises that she could "have it all" when all she wanted was her husband to be home more for the sake of her daughter.   She also grapples with the idea of hiring a nanny to take care of her daughter while she works.   As her husband's career stabilizes, things improve, but there is still some imbalance in the household.   Most importantly, this article speaks to the dilemmas that many working couples face when trying to start a family.   When one person's career takes precedence, there must be someone to pick up the slack at home; be it the partner or hired help.   This article adds to the literature of individuals struggling to balance a fulfilling professional life while managing a loving and stable family without forcing either partner to make major compromises.   - E.S.

A vivid   example of   the sexual division of labor in the domestic sphere, while taking into account the ups and downs of a heterosexual marriage, as well as the added pressures of parenting.   The author shares how she always imagined that she and her husband would work during the day and share household chores.   This author soon found that this was not the case.   Her husband's long work days required her to work less and less, especially after the birth of her daughter.   At one point the husband is the only source of income, while the wife is the only person doing household chores and tasks.   The author grows increasingly frustrated, eventually saying, "fuck it," and demanding change.   At the end of the story, the author hires a nanny to look after her two year-old daughter, and both the husband and wife are of too work.   In spite of this, both parents are home in time to read their child a bedtime story, indicating a happy ending, and that maybe the author's dream was not so farfetched after all. -A.H.

            The author writes about her discontent in her and her husband's way of parenting.   The title of the article makes one assume a topic on struggles of stay-at home moms; the fact that men never help women raise children.   But we are misguided for the author centers on the absence of her husband in raising their child.   She compares her young daughter to herself as child who had few interactions with her father.   Further, it appears as if she has come to accept the role of mother; she writes, "... I had naively thought that a pro-feminist partner, plus my own willpower, would prevent this from happening to me. . .I hadn't bargained for how deeply the gender roles of nurturer and provider are ingrained in all of us. . . " Her goal is not to escape this but simply to have her husband work less hours. -N.S.